For those of us unlucky enough to not get to this year’s Edinburgh Festival, we can at least enjoy some of the funniest jokes as judged by a panel of experts. Well, nine comedy critics anyways:

  1. “Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?” – Dan Antopolski
  2. “I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: ‘This could be interesting’.” – Paddy Lennox
  3. “I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they’re up where they belong.” – Sarah Millican
  4. “I went on a girls’ night out recently. The invitation said ‘dress to kill’. I went as Rose West.” – Zoe Lyons
  5. “I’m sure wherever my dad is; he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.” – Jack Whitehall
  6. “Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you’re going to get it, but it’s going to be rough.” – Adam Hills
  7. “To the people who’ve got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn’t invent it!” – Marcus Brigstocke
  8. “A spa hotel? It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.” – Rhod Gilbert
  9. “I’ve been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I’ve seen it six times and there isn’t.” – Dan Antopolski
  10. “I started so many fights at my school – I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn’t finish a lot of them.” – Simon Brodkin

Personally my favourite is the one about the iPhone, but maybe that’s just because of the traumatic incident that happened in my childhood involving hedgehogs… or because iPhone’s are just so cool. Mmm.. apps.